Sunday, February 5, 2012

Interview for parenthood

This is being written the night before my third interview with our assigned social worker, Angela.  Last time she was here, my husband worked the night shift as a truck driver, I worked full time days as a medical secretary, and we exchanged hellos and good-byes at the door when I got home.  Tomorrow, I'll explain to her that I quit my job entirely, leaving DH to make up the loss of income and health benefits on his own.  (Don't worry, he likes that sort of thing).

Whether it is stress related or the fact that my office was in a wet basement, I began having health issues that made it impossible to continue working all day and raising a family.  So something had to change.  I had to give up my kids or my job.  The angency would've frowned on giving up the children so I put my two weeks notice in at work and told kids I was coming home!

In our first two interviews Angela mostly sat back while I told the story of my life.  Each interview was about two hours long at my home.  Mostly just a factual account with little "how did that make you feel", I went over all the details of my upbringing, what it was like in my neighborhood, who my family was, and what I did with my time.  This went on for two sessions until I reached present day.

Tomorrow, we'll be discussing my life as it is now.  She'll want to know how I spend my free time, what my "religious affiliations" are, how I discipline my kids, what I would say if a child told me they were being abused.

During DH's last session, he was asked by Angela how he handles awkward situations.  At that time my five year old daughter walked up to him, with no pants on, and asked him to open the bologna in the kitchen. He asked her why she didn't have pants on, she ignored him insisting on bologna, and the whole situation answered Angela's question.

I do look forward to these interviews.  Although at first the thought of telling someone the story of my life would be strange, it's actually helped us, in just the course of a few weeks to make very important changes in our lives.  Hearing myself describe how I get up everyday and do what I do allowed me to look at myself almost from someone else's perspective and say "whoa, there's a lot going on there, something's gotta give"

When you think of people deciding to adopt, you think of those who "got it all together" and have tied up all loose ends before they took on something like this.  I never thought that not only would we get involved in adoption without having it all together, but that the experience would help us see the issues that need to be addressed right away so that we could continue and still grow as parents and people.

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